Er… Happy Thanksgiving!

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Ah, the holidays are upon us. For those who go in for all that tradition, you’re probably traveling home and gathering with the family for the over-eating pig-out food fest that is what Thanksgiving is generally know for! Oh and that being ‘thankful’ bit too.

But certain doom awaits thee if proper precautions are not taken! That gigantic turkey sure make look inviting, but it could be bursting with not juicy white meat but dangerous bacteria! Instead of looking at family albums and playing Parcheesi with Uncle Sam, you’ll all be waiting in line for the bathroom or the paramedics.

Food-borne illnesses are very common. Illness results from eating food contaminated with bacteria or other pathogens such as parasites or viruses, and differ from a food intolerance or food allergy. Typical food poisoning characteristics range from upset stomach to more serious symptoms: diarrhea, fever, vomiting, abdominal cramps, and dehydration. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimates that 76 million people contract food-related illnesses, a year. Of these, almost 5,000 die.

You’re really eyeing the turkey Aunt Marge cooked now, aren’t you.

Among the helpful tips at WrongDiagnosis.com’s food poisoning prevention site are:

• WASH YOUR HANDS! With warm water and soap! Before and after preparing raw foods! Clean surfaces well before preparing food on them, as well as having separate cutting boards for raw meat and vegetables!

• Refrigerate foods promptly! Don’t let them sit out while you sit around playing gin rummy with grandma Louise! Bacteria multiply rapidly between 40°F and 140°F. Set the refrigerator for 40°F! Keep cooked food above 140°F!

• Use a thermometer to be sure you’ve cooked foods for the feast to the proper temperature!

• Never defrost food on the kitchen counter. Use the refrigerator, cold running water, or the microwave oven. Conversely, reheat cooked food to at least 165°F.

So. Now you have a great guide to escaping any food poisoning this holiday. Of course, you can’t blame me if you do get poisoning… I tried to warn you! Happy Turkey Day!

(originally this was posted on 11.26.2005 at my short-lived column Plagues, Pestilences, and Other Plights on Inside Pulse. Expect others to follow in due course.)