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Clarification – it IS a 6 issue series. Which makes sense, because damn, it’s moving slowly.

So. Issue #2 of The Lost Boys. Well, it picks up right where we left off…

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SPOILERS FROM HERE ON OUT. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

 

 

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Grandpa’s dead and for some reason they’re having Lucy identify him via photograph? Huh?

The three-score claw marks on his back are apparently a “gang tag”. Okay. And in Santa Carla this isn’t a supernatural problem but a “gang” problem, the “tag” being used to scare citizens. Okay.

Y’know, I copped out and used a nationally-known gang as a cover for vampires in my fan fic epic, so, yeah. I’m not even gonna nitpick on that, really. (Although I wish I had thought to combine them and call them “BLIPS” like in Keanu. Damn.)

Edgar and Alan decide that there’s no old guard anymore, they’re all dead, so they’re the last of the vampire hunters in town. It’s their shining moment, their call to arms, blah blah blah. I’m sorry, I’m still annoyed by Reign of Frogs. At least in Vertigo’s The Lost Boys they’re keeping it on the level and reality-based, as opposed to the ridiculousness in Reign of Frogs.

Everybody’s sad over the loss of Grandpa (hey, he got a MUCH BETTER end then the bullshit he got saddled with in Reign of Frogs. OKAY I’LL TRY TO STOP NOW.) and Lucy is bummed and Sam’s like “I’m the one that fucked up!” and Star runs out on everyone, saying it’s her fault (NO COMMENT *snort*) and she has to… well I’m not sure if she said she had to stop it or just leave before Michael & co get hurt, but that’s the justification she’s using.

Her hair is still huge, so there’s that.

And Laddie calls Lucy ‘Grandma’. What?

Sam, Edgar, and Alan review footage from the comic store, where of course the mystery girl from issue #1 doesn’t show up because she’s… you guessed it.

Here’s my problem with this: if the supernatural laws of this world mean vampires don’t have reflections in mirrors or show up in photographs, or on video footage, what if the video footage includes sound? Because it’s implied that you are hearing Sam speak to someone but this is like 1987 and surveillance footage (even NOW, in 2016) doesn’t usually include SOUND. At least not to my knowledge.

And the girl clearly asks him questions and answers him, so IF SHE DOESN’T SHOW UP PHYSICALLY, WOULDN’T HER VOICE STILL BE HEARD?

I’m callin’ fucking PLOT HOLE on that one.

Yadda yadda, the Frogs leave Sam at Grandpa’s because he’s got too much to lose and they don’t (???) so the Frogs take clues and head back to the Cave, where they find someone’s been up to something and it’s recent.

Yet again, I’m like “when does this take place?” because sure, it’s supernaturals at work, but still, stuff takes time. And because (as of issue #2) we don’t know how DAVID ISN’T DEAD (like, what, Grandpa the almighty vampire hunter wasn’t smart enough to throw his corpse out in the sun!???!) fuck I lost my train of thought. I’m still pissed about that!

Okay, so anyway, yet again I’m thinking Tim Seeley read some fan fic, because shit happens that I know I’ve written (although never publicly published, at least not to my knowledge) and I’m pretty sure has come up in OTHER PEOPLE’S FAN FIC and yeah. Ta-da, the Frogs discover the new… nest? coven? gang? WTF is the stupid label this comic is using? of vampires!

And immediately realize David’s there, too.

Then one of them asks ‘didn’t David explode?’ WHICH PISSES ME RIGHT THE FUCK OFF.

There’s a line where one of them says they’re going to pick off the vampires like they did with Marko. That I let slide; Paul named Marko, literally, when he yelled at them “YOU KILLED MARKO!” so they would likely remember that. But to not know that David wasn’t the one who exploded? No, they were upstairs crying while Paul melted in the tub, so they didn’t see Dwayne explode but still. This brings it back around to WHY DIDN’T THEY TAKE OUT DAVID WHEN HE WAS ALREADY SUPPOSEDLY MORTALLY WOUNDED??

There was something in issue #1 where, I believe Edgar said something about knowing he should have “put another stake” in David. WHY DIDN’T YOU????

So here we are, ANOTHER GIANT FUCKING PLOT HOLE THAT IS REQUIRED TO GIVE CREDENCE TO THE “REVENGE” PLOT.

Ugh.

I will, and this is huge for me, concede that the art for David is not horrendous. Not like whatever the fuck happened to him in Reign of Frogs. Apparently he got a stylist or something but the tennis shoes? Um, no? No. No.

Without going full on plot spoilers, something really fucking weird happens to the Frog Brothers (??? WTF??? I can’t wait for the explanation of THAT one but I’m sure it involves LADDIE! And probably Star, since there’s spoilers in the synopsis blurbs on the Vertigo website. Sigh.)  And Edgar tries to contact the Emersons to warn them, but David kind of, literally, crushes that. Heh.

Where was I. Right. So in the box of personal effects that the Santa Carla PD bring to the house, they make a big fuss over this “application” (which was thrown in the garbage in issue #1, so how did it escape the fire?) and the police “checked it out” and blah blah blah and Sam is like, “who is it???”

sergio

Well, minus the Jon Hamm part, and minus the name Sergio. But yes, it is the shirtless, muscle-bound saxophone player just the same. He’s the mysterious vampire hunter who kept getting denied admission into the SC…whatnot club.

And he’s like huge into spiritually, and “my body is a temple” and wish I had a photo of my face while reading all that because… well, here:

igi8g6

This meme is so useful for me.

Yeah. It ends with not Sergio (I would go get the comic and look up the name the writer gave the character but I am lazy and don’t want to get up; also, why is it oh-so-very-blatantly Greek? Is there gonna be some kind of “my forefathers fought vampires in Greece” kind of deal? If they go there, I called it first!) oiling up (yes, oiling up) and I dunno, man.

Oh. OH! And he calls himself “The Believer”.

100percentsoft_believer

(image from 100% Soft.)

Summation: I am actually not as angry over this as I thought I would be. As admitted in the previous post about issue #1, the story line isn’t so far-fetched and is reasonable enough that it’s believable. The art is decent. It’s not mind-blowing, they didn’t fuck up David as bad as I feared. The others are passable; I’m not real sure about the female vampires, since very little of them has been shown but I’m still worried about that being disappointing. They have a feel like they’re sort of the Spice Girls but “edgy” but also horrible archetypes and that worries me. (One is wearing a pearl necklace, another is tattooed with a mohawk; I’m not holding out hope here.)

I’ve proved over and over again that I’m OCD about details, particularly plot, so I’m wondering how the Emersons just magically took over Max’s video store, where the Frog parents are, why Star isn’t at all forthcoming about anything (clearly that’s going to be a MAJOR PLOT POINT but still), why is Laddie still around, and where’s Thorn? (Okay that last one is kind of a running joke between a friend and I, so I doubt it will get answered. Clearly the hound of hell returned to Hades on Max’s demise.)

Overall, considering I was angry at the announcement of this series, then entirely forgot about it, then randomly discovered it again, I’m kind of torn because it’s not that bad. It’s decent, which is me practically recommending it, which I kind of am? But I’m also still terrified, because there’s four issues to go and a lot could go VERY WRONG in those issues.

Cover of issue #3 clearly shows the Giant Dipper, with Sam fighting off one of the female vampires (who has pointed elf ears?? And giant, clawed feet? Oh boy…) and issue #4’s cover is Sam and Sax Dude, complete with sax!, crawling around in what I’m guessing to be the Cave.

If the Believer is some sort of Pied Piper who controls vampires with his sax, I’m done.

Well, until December, when issue #3 drops, we’ll just have to wait and see.

PS: I kind of want to email Vertigo and ask if I can interview Tim Seeley about this, where he was coming from, where he got the plot ideas. Because I want to know.

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